Thank you for your script writing inquiry.

Upon confirmation of a booking, we FAX you a Questionnaire & Confirmation Form. This form is very comprehensive as it provides us with a brief to prepare your script.

...or: We can write the script for your own personal delivery. When this is the case, we will do all we can to assist you to make your delivery successful and memorable, for you and your audience.

The form of the script can vary from an after-dinner speech to a wedding speech, retirement speech, pilot for a TV show, television script, play, pantomime, movie script, birthday speech, acceptance speech, political speech, satirical sendup...You name it & we can probably do it...!

When writing the script we try to take into account the audience, their grasp of English (NB. We do not translate into other languages), anticipated audience sense of humour and also your personal style (if you are to deliver the script. This is sometimes the most challenging consideration.) Hence the more information you can feed us the better.

You can book us to write the Script (as a first, one and only draft), or the First Draft Plus Amendments (after you have read & had an opportunity to comment upon the material.) We can also offer you Telephone Coaching, so you can rehearse your delivery and ensure the full impact of the script.

Once the script is completed we email it to you as an attached Word Document.

To confirm an exact price we need a few more details:

1. How long would you prefer your script to be?

If we are not delivering the script personally, it is impossible to guarantee an exact delivery time, but our experience can be pretty indicative. ie. Length of presentation will vary depending upon speed of delivery, laughter pauses, interjections / responses, ad libbing, etc... & can also vary depending on the personality of the person who delivers the script.

A 10 - 20 minute script is generally ideal for a prepared Retirement Script or perhaps a Wedding Speech. If you wish your script to be shorter, we generally recommend that you abbreviate it after receiving the full text.

2. Is the script a Corporate or Private booking [ie. non-corporate]?

Basically Private means you are paying for it, whereas Corporate means the company is paying for it. Discounted rates apply for a Private Booking.

3. Do you want a one-off script draft, or further amendments after you have seen the first draft.

Usually a one-off draft is quite sufficient. However new ideas can come to mind once you see the first draft. Also a second draft can sometimes help us to tailor a script to your personality, but this obviously can involve several extra hours of our time.

4. Do you require Telephone Coaching, to assist you with the delivery?

This gives you the chance to brush up on intonation, speed & style of delivery, anticipated pause laughter intervals, inflexion to emphasise double entendre & subtlety, handling your audience (potential interjections, ad libbing to respond to friendly heckling), etc...? You arrange a convenient time to call us, and we spend whatever time it takes to get the delivery right. If need be, there can be two sessions, at no extra charge for the second session. We want your speech to be a success!

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When we write and deliver the script the cost is generally $350 - $500. This may vary for a longer script, if additional research is required, and depending upon the distance travelled and costume (if specifically required.)

[B] A 10 - 20 MINUTE SCRIPT (the most popular length), WRITTEN FOR YOU TO DELIVER:

1. NON-CORPORATE BOOKINGS, ie. Client pays for the service, as opposed to the company / firm paying:

A$350 for a one off script.
A$100 for reworking of the script.
A$50 for phone coaching of the script presentation.

2. CORPORATE BOOKINGS, ie. Company pays for the service, as opposed to an individual paying:

A$500 for a one off script.
A$125 for reworking of the script.
A$75 for phone coaching of the script presentation.


1. NON-CORPORATE BOOKINGS, ie. Client pays for the service, as opposed to the company / firm paying:

A$450 for a one off script.
A$125 for reworking of the script.
A$75 for phone coaching of the script presentation.

2. CORPORATE BOOKINGS, ie. Company pays for the service, as opposed to an individual paying:

A$750 for a one off script.
A$150 for a reworking of the script.
A$100 for phone coaching of the script presentation.


Fees are negotiable, depending on complexity, research, duration, venue for delivery - ie. live, TV or movie, etc...

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The Fee is payable in Australian dollars, telegraphic transfer to a bank account that we nominate, in Australia. We supply details upon confirmation. $250 deposit for a non-corporate booking, or $350 for a corporate booking confirms the booking. The balance is payable immediately upon completion & receipt of the script.

Scripts we write and perform / deliver locally are payable by cash or cheque immediately after delivery. A small deposit applies.

Just email us with your fax number & we will fax you a Research Questionnaire Form. The information you supply us with becomes the basis for the script.

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We can also write and deliver / perform your speech.

It is generally easier with much less time involved, to write a script to be delivered by ourselves, rather than to write a script for a client. This is because we try to take into account the personality of the person delivering the script. Also we are experienced in dealing with different audiences, so there are less considerations. In some situations we may be able to fly, to perform a script for you in another city. However expenses would usually preclude this.

Many of our inquiries for scripts are from overseas, but for LOCAL bookings, where we can actually delivery the script for you, as well as writing the script, you may also like to refer to the following. These are popular when someone (or the company / firm) wants to book a comedian to write and deliver a script, giving the person a sendup, as a surprise, without the recipient knowing in advance. (This style is generally different to the style followed if we are writing directly for the person concerned.) Because of the considerations previously mentioned, it is actually more difficult to write a script for a client, than to write & present the script ourselves. Thus you may find some of the following popular options cheaper and preferable to booking a specially prepared script and then delivering it yourself:

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* WE REQUIRE PAYMENT UPON CONFIRMATION, FOR ALL OVERSEAS BOOKINGS. i.e. When we send you the CONFIRMATION & QUESTIONNAIRE FORM. We will give you a BANK ACCOUNT FOR YOU TO ARRANGE A TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER or B.PAY, DIRECTLY FROM YOUR BANK TO OUR BANK. You fax us the bank receipt as evidence of your payment, & we're in action! Payment is non-refundable if you cancel. Bookings are not confirmed, & dates are not held, until payment is made.

* FOR LOCAL BOOKINGS WE REQUIRE A NON-REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT, to confirm your gig, with the balance payable upon completion of the script. This deposit helps protect our comedian & script writer against potential cancellation. Bookings are not confirmed & dates are not held, until your deposit is made. We reserve our right to confirm other bookings, giving priority to bookings confirmed with deposits. We are limited with the number of gigs we can write & perform in a day or night, & once we receive our quota, we do not accept further bookings. Thus to avoid disappointment, your deposit should be made without delay.

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The Jungle Chalet,
Valleyview Glen,
Cnr Valleyview Cres. & Innes Rd,
SYDNEY, NSW, 2065.
Phone:61 - 2 - 9906 2350. (9am - 6pm, Monday - Friday. Answer phone after hours.)
Mobile:n/a. (en route to gigs.)
Facsimile:61 - 2 - 9439 2319. (24 hours, 365 days p.a.)

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